


Here Comes A Thought

by TheOtakuWithHazelEyes



Category: Ben 10 Series
Genre: Ben 10: Omniverse, Ben is the rational one, Ben only appears in a flashback, F/M, Gen, Guys DO talk on occasion, Gwen is having a crisis, Headcanons ahead, Kevin is surprisingly introspective, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Rooters, Servantis, as well as facts incorporated from the writers, takes place after Weapon XI Part 2, title is from Steven Universe, which is always worrying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 10:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10660347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOtakuWithHazelEyes/pseuds/TheOtakuWithHazelEyes
Summary: Gwen should've been happy. Kevin wasn't a traitor and Ben hadn't been destroyed on the sub-quantum level, so she should've been HAPPY, dang it. And she would've been too, if not for that one persistent thought- had the Rooters never taken Kevin and changed his memories, would he have ever become Ben's friend?... Would he have ever come to love her?





	Here Comes A Thought

**Author's Note:**

> I really wish the Omniverse writers had gone more in-depth to the aftermath of "Weapon XI". So many unanswered questions! Thus I decided to write it for myself. This fic covers some of the uncertainty Gwen displayed during part 2, as well as other details into the Rooter conspiracy.

_Here comes a thought that might alarm you._

_What someone said and how it harmed you._

_Something you did that failed to be charming,_

_Things that you said are suddenly swarming._

_And, oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch._

_All these little things seem to matter so much._

_That they confuse you._

_That I might lose you._

_Take a moment, remind yourself,_

_To take a moment and find yourself,_

_Take a moment and ask yourself,_

_If this is how we fall apart..._

 

* * *

 

Gwen should've been happy.

It all worked out, didn't it? Kevin hadn't _actually_ turned on them, the Plumbers' Helpers were freed, Ben _hadn't_ been destroyed on a sub-quantum level, and the Rooters were both decommissioned _and_ trapped in the Null Void. Everything was fine and dandy and Gwen should've been _happy,_ dang it!

_Ben_ was happy, if his attitude at Burger Shack was any indication. He kept making jokes about how "the Coming Storm demands chili fries" or "watch out, the Coming Storm has arrived!" He even teased Kevin and the Plumber kids about whether they were going to keep their Rooter suits or not because, although they were "products of evil", they looked "totally awesome." All in all, he wasn't too affected by the events of that day. He was just relieved things were going back to normal.

Excepts things _weren't_ normal and that was why Gwen couldn't be happy.

_"Don't you think you're, I don't know, overthinking it?" Ben said when Gwen pulled him aside to talk. "We won! Kevin's back with us and Crabpuff is gonna be having play-dates with Way Bads for the foreseeable future. I don't see what the problem is."_

_Gwen shot a glance back to their group's table. Kevin was chatting animatedly about something with Rook and Manny. Every so often he raised a hand to scratch the new scar on his chin._

_"You_ should _see the problem," Gwen went on, turning back to him. "_ _Putting aside the fact that a large portion of Kevin's life was a_ lie _, don't you remember what we talked about in Argit's hideout?"_

_Ben took a moment to ponder it, then crossed his arms. "What, the whole "if he was a sleeper agent, then was he ever really with us" thing?"_

_The redhead nodded._

_"Considering I'm currently_ not _annihilated, I'd say we had nothing to worry about."_

_"So it doesn't bother you that Kevin may have only become our friend because of Servantis' manipulations?"_

_"I guess a_ little _," Ben admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "He had me scared for a minute there, but Kevin came through for us in the end like he always does._ _Why, does it bother you?"_

_"No! Yes! I don't know!" Gwen rambled. "I just can't stop thinking about what if Servantis_ hadn't _intervened. Would he have joined us that day in the rail yard? Would he have even_ been _in the rail yard? Would he still be in the Null Void? Would he-?"_

_"O-ver-think-ing-it," Ben said, punctuating each syllable with a poke to his cousin's forehead. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Listen, I know this was, in some ways, rougher for you than it was for me. But don't get hung up on the little details. Whoever Kevin was or wasn't in the past, he's our friend now. Isn't that what matters?"_

Ben, as shocking as it sounded, was correct. Kevin was his best friend and her boyfriend. That was all that should have mattered. Gwen knew this and felt it to an extent, but no matter what she did, the thoughts wouldn't stop coming.

As far as she gathered, Servantis picked up Kevin right after he escaped prison following Kwarrel's death. Ergo, he wasn't hopped up on energy anymore. However, according to Argit, Kevin still held a grudge against Ben and sought to destroy him- it was one of the reasons Servantis was able to recruit him for his Ben 10 Hit Squad. When they met Kevin again in the rail yard, he initially seemed to want revenge before quickly dropping it. Gwen had chalked it up to him maturing, his better nature being appealed to, him wanting to emulate Devin, and later, because he was no longer an energy-crazed Osmosian. He didn't try to destroy Ben again until the Ultimate Kevin incident, which only further proved her suspicions.

But now that she knew Kevin's mind had been altered, she couldn't help but wonder; how much of the Kevin she knew was actually _Kevin_ , and how much was whatever Servantis _wanted_ him to be? Didn't Kevin say awhile back that his father- a fake memory- was the reason he joined up with them (among others)? His mission was to get close to Ben so he could be eliminated. Considering Kevin was an old enemy, making him more likable or a better person would be the logical course of action. If Servantis hadn't done anything and they met Kevin again, would he still have become Ben's friend instead of his enemy?

... Would he have even shown any interest in _her_? After all, what better way to get close to someone than dating their cousin? She had no doubt about Kevin loving her _now,_ but in the beginning... he'd been so awkward and unsure and _adorable_. Could that have been from subliminal control neither she nor Kevin himself were even aware of?

Ugh, Gwen _hated_ having these thoughts. She was supposed to be the rational and trusting one- as Ben said, it shouldn't have mattered, but to her it did and it was driving her nuts! And to make it worse, she had _no_ idea how Kevin felt about it! _He_ was the one who was manipulated and had his memories tampered with. _He_ was the one whose life had been, for the lack of a better term, _uprooted_. If anyone had the right to be obsessing over the entire debacle, it was him.

However, since returning from the Null Void and saying goodbye to everyone at Burger Shack, Kevin had been very subdued. Maybe it was because he was busy- being fired from his job at Paik's Body Shop and moving his stuff from there to the temporary garage had been a chore, and he and the rest of the Amalgams had to go in for psychic scans (which was something the Plumbers apparently _did_ ). Maybe it was because he'd already done a lot of his thinking that week he was on the lam. But aside from the apology for "faking a nutty", Kevin hadn't once given any indication he wanted to talk about the ordeal. It wasn't even like this for Ultimate Kevin- they talked quite a bit back then when they were alone. She knew Kevin wasn't the most touchy-feely guy in the universe, but she thought this would warrant at least _one_ conversation.

She had originally decided to give him his space- she'd busied herself by coming up with a closer, more permanent solution for Kevin's living space in the school library's basement (AKA, Darkstar's former lair) that could double as a base. However, it had been over a week since then and still not a word about it. She hadn't even seen or heard from him in several days- there _had_ to be something wrong. Hence why despite her unhappiness, her slightly paranoid thoughts, her desire to respect her boyfriend's boundaries, and her annoyance that for the second time _Benjamin Kirby Tennyson_ was being the rational one, she was going to Kevin's place and settling everything before it completely ruined their lives.

In fact, she had been standing at the back door with one hand raised holding her key and the other holding Kevin's favorite Burger Shack takeout for the last fifteen minutes, going over the details of her personal crisis in her head.

... Sweet Lord, when did she get so pathetic?

Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the back door and swung it open. Almost immediately, she was set upon by an excited Zed, who barked happily as she circled and nudged the redhead's legs.

"Hey, girl!" Gwen greeted, pocketing her key and patting Zed's head. "How are you? Where's Kevin?"

Zed barked and went back inside. Gwen followed after her and gasped at what she saw.

The room was a total mess. It was as though a paper hurricane had come through, covering every available surface with innumerable white sheets. There was also a large dent in one of the walls, as thought it had been punched. Gwen set the takeout down on a mini-fridge, shut the door, and scanned the room.

"Where did all these come from?" she wondered aloud, selecting a couple papers from the hood of Kevin's car.

Upon further inspection, she realized that not a single one of the papers were blank- each piece was covered, front to back, in printed text and the occasional photo... text where terms like "Amalgam" and pictures of Kevin, aged 12, popped up frequently.

"Zed," Gwen said seriously, dropping the papers. "Where is Kevin?"

Zed pointed her head towards the tiny couch in the corner of the garage. Sure enough, Gwen could see Kevin's form draped across the furniture, his head laying on the armrest and an open manila folder covering his face. She calmed down- going off the steady rise and fall of his chest, the way his arm hung limply off the couch, and the more obvious snores, he was fast asleep.

Gwen checked the clock on her iPhone. It was currently two in the afternoon.

She glanced down at Zed and pointed at her boyfriend. "Zed?"

Zed perked up. " _Ruff_?"

"Wake Kevin, please."

" _RUFF!_ "

Taking a running start, Zed bounded across the room, lept into the air, and landed squarely on Kevin's stomach.

_**WHOMP!** _

"ARGHH! WHAT THE _HELL_?!"

The Osmosian shouted and tumbled off the sofa, taking Zed and more papers with him. He didn't stay down for long. He was quickly on his feet and absorbing the blue metal of his car, preparing to fight some unknown enemy.

"Alright, who's the dead man who thought he could-?!" he started to threaten, morphing his hand into a morning star. He cut himself off when he rammed face-first into a mana shield. "Ow!"

"Good morning to you _too_ , sweetie," Gwen greeted in a sugary voice. She dropped the shield and walked up to him. "Or rather, afternoon."

Kevin rubbed his nose, letting his armor recede. "Gwendolyn? What're you doin' here?"

"I haven't seen you or heard from you since you went in for the psychic scan, so I thought I'd come check on you," she half-lied. She gave him a once over. "I'm kind of glad I did."

Kevin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. He was almost as much of a mess as the room was. He was wearing only a dirty black wife-beater, grey sweatpants, and his lock necklace. His jet-black hair was pulled into a loose ponytail on the back his head, the dark circles around his eyes were even more prominent, and he had 5 o'clock shadow. The guy looked as if he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in days.

Gwen gestured around garage. "Mind telling me why it looks like a filing cabinet exploded in here?" _Or why these papers look as if they came from the_ personal _filing cabinet of Ex-Proctor Servantis?_

Kevin's eyes darted around the room, as if it had only just occurred to him what a disaster area it was. Finally, he sighed tiredly and squeezed the bridge of his nose.

"Gimme ten minutes to shave and brush my teeth, then we'll talk?" he offered.

"Change your shirt and wipe yourself down while you're it," Gwen suggested. "You kind of reek."

Gwen sat on the couch with Zed while Kevin went to clean himself up the best he could in the garage's tiny outdoor sink. Part of her berated herself for procrastinating what she _really_ wanted to talk about, but the other, much louder part of herself wanted to know what Kevin had been doing this entire time. After what was positively _longer_ than ten minutes, Kevin returned, now freshly shaven and wearing a clean black wife-beater. Other than that and smelling a lot better, his appearance hadn't changed. He placed a bowl of food down for Zed and sat next to his girlfriend.

"So..." Kevin trailed off as Zed dug into her food.

Gwen raised an eyebrow and gestured once again to all the paper.

"Right, the paper." He scratched his scarred chin. "Uh... well, what you see before you is the entirety of Servantis' personal computer files. Experiment notes, agent profiles... stuff like that."

Gwen stared at him incredulously.

"On paper," he added as an afterthought.

The Anodite felt numb. She tried to focus her thoughts, saying, "... T-They couldn't have given you a flash drive?"

"Blukic and Driba apparently discovered our "primitive printing apparatuses" and went to town. I've spent the last couple days goin' through it all."

The numbness had shifted into nausea. Still, Gwen attempted to remain calm. "Why would the Plumbers give you all this?"

Kevin's brow furrowed. "They thought it would help... _fill in_ the remaining blanks. Plus, Max thought I deserved to know."

He stood and walked over to one of the paper piles. He shifted through it until he found another manila envelope filled with papers. He tossed it to Gwen. She caught it and flipped it open, and was greeted with the very familiar image of a red-eyed man with horns.

"Gregor Abernathy, AKA Aggregor," Kevin recited, as though he had memorized the file. "A "promising" Plumber officer Servantis recruited into the Rooters after he sent me and the Amalgam Kids packin'. He was used in an experiment to replicate my powers. I don't think I need to tell you it worked, though with weird side effects like growin' horns."

Gwen skimmed the file for more information. It seemed Servantis believed that if Kevin's abilities were being used by a mature individual, achieving the "objective" (i.e, wasting Ben) would be far more successful. However, since Ben removed the Omnitrix and the threat "passed", Servantis saw no reason to hold on to his pseudo-Osmosian. Thus the Cerebrocrustacean hybrid turned him loose with false memories of being an alien warlord, using him as a way to prove an Osmosian race even existed. While a sun coincidentally called Osmos really did exist, the planet Aggregor and the rest of the Plumbers thought to be Osmos V was really a hospitable but uninhabited planet in the star system. The file also contained a report Servantis made on Aggregor's plan- the machine used to absorb the Andromeda aliens was a bastardized version of the device he used to create his hybrids. There were also anecdotes from the proctor expressing disappointment about how Aggregor handled absorbing energy even worse than Kevin did. Many of the pages were marked with "FAILURE" in bright red letters.

"Here," Kevin said, handing her another, albeit thinner, file.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Plumber autopsy results. Aggregor's dead."

"Seriously?!"

"Yeah. Around the time the Rooters came for me, he went into rapid cellular degradation- melted into ooze right in prison. I guess my cells were just as aggressive as the rest of me," he said with a bitter smile.

Gwen didn't think it was funny either. She was no fan of Aggregor, but melting into "ooze" because of a mad scientist was _not_ on her list of preferred ways to die. She was about ask Kevin how he felt about it when he thrust another stack of papers in her face.

"I finished this one last night," he explained, sitting down next her. He massaged his temples, as if fending off an oncoming headache. Zed, now done with her food, placed her head on his lap and whimpered. He patted the Baskurr's head soothingly.

Though feeling a bit apprehensive, Gwen began to leaf through the papers. Her blood ran cold when she saw the picture of a grey-skinned, near skeletal man. It went icy when she read the report.

"Ragnarok... was a _Rooter_?!" she gasped in horror.

"He was like Billings- a criminal who got leniency in exchange for joinin' up," Kevin confirmed tonelessly. "There was the added perk of getting gene-spliced by yours truly, of course."

"You... do you...?"

"I remember him. Dude was a scary S.O.B even before he got amalgamated. He was in charge of trainin' for awhile, until..." Kevin's hand hovered over his throat, and his eyes had a faraway mien to them. After a moment he shook his head. "I never saw him again after that- he was always off doin' any of the Rooters' dirty work me and the Amalgam Kids weren't doing."

He leaned back on the couch, looking exhausted. "He really did used to do the whole star-killing thing, so Servantis thought he'd be the perfect villain for Max and my family's fake memories. Ragnarok even let himself be imprisoned to make it more believable."

The nausea had returned in full force, ranging from the implications of Kevin's hand motion just now to the reminder of what Ragnarok meant to both his and her families. Gwen quickly read through the rest of the file.

Suddenly the nausea morphed into red-hot fury.

The whole incident with Ragnarok trying to get his key back and Kevin discovering he "killed" his "father?" It had been a _test-_ a sick, sadistic test to see if Kevin still had the _stomach_ to complete the "objective," especially since the ex-con had been so recently mutated _again_ thanks to Ben and didn't try to kill the hero. Servantis took this as a sign of how _too_ close Kevin was getting to the Tennyson family, thus he wanted to make sure he didn't completely forget his roots (and damn it, she did _not_ just make that pun). Ragnarok hadn't told Kevin the truth- that Devin wasn't an actual person, just another planted memory- when he was moments away from death and therefore owed nothing else to his boss. Ragnarok _knew_ he might die, but if it was in the name of one day ridding the world of the Coming Storm, he was willing to sacrifice his life for a filthy _lie_.

Servantis had let one his own men be killed, almost allowed the sun to be drained, and caused Kevin all sorts of emotional _and_ physical pain for a _freaking_ _test_.

"That... that... that _bastard_!" Gwen hollered, tearing the papers in half. "What gave him the right to.. to _... arghh!_ "

Zed jumped at the outburst, while Kevin almost smirked. He was not accustomed to Gwen swearing. "I see you got to the bit about the test. Pretty twisted, huh?"

"It's bad enough he's been manipulating you for half your life," Gwen went as if Kevin hadn't said anything. She started pacing the room. "But this is... this is... ugh, I can't _believe_ the Magistrata let this go on! Did no one ever _notice_?! There _had_ to have been obviously fake files or contradicting memories!"

"Servantis was always pretty thorough," Kevin admitted. "In certain areas anyway. Buildin' up a long con was one of them. You shudda seen how much detail went into makin' a fake culture for Osmos V. I wonder if he took a workshop for-"

"How can you _joke_ about this?!" Gwen shouted at him. "You should be more pissed than anyone about what's on these files! Why aren't you?!"

Kevin shared a puzzled glance with Zed. It was clear he was not expecting this- after all, when did Gwen ever advocate getting angry? Still, he sat up straight and looked Gwen dead in the eye.

"I was at _first_. What I read made me so mad I punched that wall- poor substitute for Servantis' face, though." He pointed to the dent Gwen saw earlier.

He shook his head. "But after awhile, I stopped. I just _couldn't_ work up the energy to be angry at what Servantis did anymore. In fact, I'm not even surprised at any of this crap- I know what kind of scumbag Servantis is, so by this point it's _expected_." He chuckled morbidly. "Ain't that depressing."

Gwen couldn't believe what she was hearing. "So just because you _expect_ it, it makes it _okay_?!"

Kevin frowned. "Of course not. Just because I'm not angry doesn't mean-"

"Servantis kidnapped _children_ , _experimented_ on them, _mutated_ them, and _trained_ them to _kill_ another _child_! In what universe is that _okay_?!"

"It's _not_ okay-"

"He manipulated them! He made them think they were heroes, that they were the good guys, that _assassinating_ a ten-year-old was perfectly fine! And when they couldn't deliver, he _threw them away like garbage_!"

"Gwendolyn, I already know-"

"No, wait, he didn't throw them away- he kept them in _reserve_ until they were _convenient_. He screwed with their heads and gave them false memories, so that one day they could be _friends_ with his "Coming Storm" and destroy him _then_! What kind of plan is that?! Was he incapable of doing _anything_ for himself?! _Why_ did he have to _do_ this to _you_?! To _us_?!"

"Gwendolyn-" Kevin tried to cut in.

By this point, tears had begun to stream down Gwen's face. It was like the rest of the world had melted away and only her and her overwhelming uncertainty remained, threatening to devour everything.

"That day we met again means _so damn much_ to me!" she exclaimed. "It was the day we became a team! It was the day I could finally stop being afraid of Kevin 11 coming back to claim his revenge, because you _know_ how much you used to scare me! It was the day Ben gained someone he would one day call his best friend and brother! It was the day that started you on the path to becoming the man I'm _so proud of_ today!"

"Gwendolyn-!"

"It was the day I met the man I love _so damn much_ that my heart feels like it's going to _explode_! And now that day might as well be _ruined_ for me, thanks to that pompous, manipulative, crustaceous... _arggh_ , it's not fair! We've been through so much together- alien invasions, demon gods, and even death itself! _It's not fair_ that all your growth and relationships were because of Servantis' convoluted _lie_ -!"

" ** _GWEN!_** "

Gwen stopped ranting at the sharp holler. Without her realizing it, Kevin had gotten up and stood only inches from her. His arms were crossed and his dark eyes were stormy with suppressed anger.

"That's what you think? Really?" he asked dryly. " _You_ think I _only_ changed, became friends with Ben, and got with you because of whatever mind-mojo _Servantis_ used on me? Because that's what I'm gleaning from this."

Gwen started backpedaling frantically. "No, no, no, no, of course not! I just... it's just that... I know it's... Kevin, I-!"

She would have went on rambling had Kevin not silenced her in a way even she hadn't expected- he gripped her by the arms, pulled her forward, and kissed her.

Zed whined, crouching down and hiding her eyes under her paws.

The kiss started out gentle enough, but gradually got more forceful as Gwen began to respond. She closed her eyes and tilted her head, improving the angle of her mouth. Kevin, meanwhile, slowly trailed his hands down her arms before settling them on her waist. He pulled her flush against his body as he prodded her lips with his tongue. Gwen eagerly let him in, warmth filling her right down to her toes. She wound her fingers into his hair, knocking his hair tie out and forcing him closer. The black-haired boy grunted in appreciation.

All too soon it was over. Kevin pulled away, tugging Gwen's bottom lip with his teeth as he did. Gwen panted, left both breathless and blushing. It was in that moment she noticed they had somehow ended up on the hood of Kevin's car and he had had her pinned. She stared up at him in wonder and confusion, while the man in question sighed through his nose and helped her to stand. Once she was up and steady, he enveloped her in a gentle hug.

"I love you, baby," he muttered, tucking her head under his chin.

"I know you do, I know," she replied, her voice thick.

"And you think it's because of a lie _Servantis_ came up with?"

" _No!_ " Gwen denied immediately, pulling back. "I don't, I swear! It's just that I..."

Kevin led her back to the couch, where they both sat down. He placed his arm around her shoulders and allowed her to snuggle into his chest. Zed joined them, draping herself across their feet.

"I know I'm being ridiculous," Gwen admitted in a quiet voice. "Seriously, like _Servantis_ would go through the trouble of setting two teenagers up _just_ for a long-term assassination. But your mission was to get close to Ben and eliminate him- while we were outside the base, we wondered if being a sleeper agent meant you were never actually with us. I thought that fear had been put to rest, but after we left the zone, all the implications started to sink in. Servantis altered a lot of your memories, so it wasn't too out there to think he'd altered other things as well. I started to think, _What if Kevin never became a Rooter? What if Servantis never changed his memories? What if he hadn't given him a fake role model? Would he ever have become our friend?"_

She snuggled closer. "Once those thoughts entered my head I couldn't _stop_ thinking them. The "what ifs" got worse and worse until I was questioning everything I shouldn't have. It made me doubt our relationship and how much you've changed. It shouldn't matter, but part of me feels like it does and it's making me insane!" She looked him in the eye. "You said you saw Ben as a brother and I know you meant it. Whatever subliminal commands Servantis gave you, you fought them and became our friend. It's just that the idea that you even started on that path at _all_ was because of a deception won't stop _haunting_ me."

Kevin remained silent, and Gwen took this as a sign to continue.

"I came here today mostly to try to put those thoughts to rest. I don't want the sheer amount of doubt I have to tear us apart," she explained, breaking away from his gaze. "I also came here to see how _you_ were holding up. Here I am, all paranoid about how Servantis affected me when _you_ were the one he hurt. You love me, you care about Ben, and you idolized your father. You're a Plumber and hero now. Those are all such good things, but Servantis took them and _perverted_ them. There's no better way to describe it- he took those bright, _good_ things and..." She squeezed Kevin tighter. " _Why_? _Why_ are you so calm about this? Why am I being so _ludicrous_ and you and Ben are so _reasonable_?"

For the longest time, Kevin said nothing. The silence was stifling and Gwen was half-tempted to speak up again if only to shatter it. Before she could, however, her boyfriend at last spoke.

"For starters, just because I can't get angry at what the old man did anymore doesn't make it okay," he stated. "If anything, I'm just as frustrated as you that he managed to do it without anyone noticin'. That being said, there's no point in stayin' angry because it happened and nothin' can change that. The best we can do is accept that he is a _major_ jackass and make sure he never hurts anyone else ever again. Besides, I have enough anger-control issues as is and really don't need whatever Servantis does to make me do somethin' I'll regret. I've already long accepted that vengeance's a waste of energy- especially since the one time I _did_ get vengeance turned out to be an ultimately pointless test."

Gwen winced but nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry I kept interrupting you. I was caught up in the moment."

"It's okay, I get it- you were upset and needed to vent. I've played the "what if" game enough times over the years to know how maddening it can be. You're lucky you're breaking outta the loop now and not a year from now. The longer you take, the harder it is."

Gwen could only nod again- that nugget of information was probably a whole other conversation. They needed to focus on this one.

"As for my "reasonableness"..." Kevin leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "Trust me, I was a near _wreck_ in the beginning. I had a lot of the same doubts you're havin'- was I ever really Ben's friend, was everything only a ploy to destroy him, where did you fit in the equation, blah, blah, blah." He frowned. "It hurt, to think that after all this time thinkin' I was hero that I was still the bad guy. It made everythin' I did up until then feel... _empty_. Like it'd been for nothin'. Like no matter how much good I'd done, deep down I was still that little sociopath attacking Tennyson every week." He ran a hand through his hair. "I thought that too- whether or not I'd changed on my own merit or because Servantis _wanted_ me to be better. I mean, he even went ahead and gave me a role model."

"Devin," Gwen muttered.

Kevin grimaced. Again, _whole_ other conversation, and an infinitely more painful one. Gwen was still upset about Devin and the Ragnarok ordeal, but she wouldn't push her boyfriend into it right now. She wasn't sure she even had the right to part of that discussion.

"Anyway," he continued. "I managed to push the doubts outta my mind for a while while I was on the lam with Argit, but when we decided to get Alan they started coming back. I thought about it while I was breaking into the Rooters' base, and I thought about it worse while Servantis and I had our private chat." He lifted his head and raised one finger. "That chat though. That chat was when I had a sudden..." He frowned and turned to Gwen. "What's that word for when you realize somethin' incredibly important about yourself or the world as you thought you knew it?"

"Epiphany?" Gwen offered.

" _That's_ it- I had a sudden _epiphany_. In that single moment, after over a week of obsessing, after doubting myself, after listening to Servantis spiel about how Ben ruined my life and how I was never meant to get _that_ close to him, I had _this_ epiphany..."

Kevin looked Gwen directly in the eye and gave her possibly most deadpan expression in existence.

"... I don't care."

Gwen blinked once, then twice.

"I'm sorry, _what_?!" she shouted in shock, jumping away from him.

Zed was knocked away, and after giving the Anodite a glare she reclaimed her place at her master's feet.

"You... you don't _care_?" Gwen echoed in confusion.

"I don't care," Kevin repeated, still deadpan.

"You don't care about... what exactly?"

"Everything- I don't care I was a Rooter, I don't care I might've only become Tennyson's friend to kill him, I don't care that I might've only changed because of my fake memories. Servantis may have given me a push, but everything I am now is because _I_ chose it. I chose to keep working with you guys after Magister Labrid died. I chose never to act on the residual "waste Tennyson" vibes." He grinned at her. "I chose to finally get over myself and date you- I'm sure of that much. _You_ were _my_ decision, not Servantis'. That headcase wouldn't know romance if it tail-whipped him in the nuts."

Gwen immediately thought of Helen's form of payback, and through a fresh batch of tears and a rapidly beating heart she giggled.

Kevin reached forward wiped away her tears with his thumb. "After that rather _liberating_ realization, I chose to go ahead with my plan to infiltrate the Rooters and free the Amalgams. You have no idea how relieved I was it worked- or how I relieved I was you and Ben forgave me for freakin' you out like that. Havin' you in my arms and Ben at my side made everythin' I'd ever done feel worth it. I'm so happy with who I am now that I _just don't care_ how it came about."

He gestured to all the papers in the room. "That hasn't changed, even after reading these files. There's stuff that makes me mad and stuff that makes me feel like a scumbag. There's stuff that I'm _really_ not looking forward to discussing later and stuff that I won't be okay with for a long time. But I'm not gonna obsess over it anymore because _I don't care_. The past is past and it doesn't matter. Letting it control my life- _both_ our lives- means Servantis still has a say in them. I don't wanna give him the satisfaction."

"Kevin..." Gwen trailed off. She had no idea what to say.

"Servantis' stolen enough of my life," Kevin declared. "I'm not givin' him another second- the old man ain't worth it."

That did it. Gwen lept forward across the couch and pulled Kevin into a messy, teary, bone-crushing hug. She buried her face into his chest, prompting him to laugh and return the hug with equal vigor.

"Come on, G, quit it with the waterworks," he told her. "You're makin' me feel like a jerk."

"You _are_ a jerk!" she wailed. "You're a the big jerk who's so _smart_ and whom I'm _proud_ of and who's making me feel like such a... _such a_...!"

"Dweeb?"

"Shut up!"

"Okay."

Gwen couldn't stop smiling or crying. Kevin was right, Ben had been right, and she'd been so, _so wrong_. Never had Gwen been this overjoyed to be _completely_ and _utterly_ wrong. Servantis was a hundred-million-times _not worth it_ , and by letting all her pesky thoughts consume her every waking moment, she'd been letting him retain sway over how they lived their lives. The headcase may have thought he held all the cards, but Kevin had proved on several occasions how powerless Servantis really was.

Those pervasive little thoughts were just that- _thoughts_. Thoughts couldn't hurt anyone or anything, at least as long as she didn't let them. Ben and Kevin already had headway on that, and it was about time she did so as well. She was going to let the uncertainty go, no matter how long it took. Her boyfriend would help her if she needed it, and she would do the same for him. They'd been _each other's_ choice, and Servantis could suck it.

On a side note, now she would be able to reclaim her position as the rational member of the group. Take that, Ben!

Gwen's mental gloating was interrupted by Zed, who enthusiastically jumped onto the couch and onto the loving couple. She began to joyfully lick their faces, coating them with thick Anubian Baskurr drool.

"Ew, Zed!" Gwen laughed. "Knock it off!"

"Okay, okay, we get it! You're happy too!" Kevin pushed the alien hound away. "That's enough, down, girl!"

Zed ceased her wet assault and padded away, pleased with herself. Kevin and Gwen laughed one more time before getting up and going outside to the outdoor sink. They cleaned their faces of the slobber and, in Gwen's case, any remaining tears.

"Here," he said, handing her a towel.

"Thanks." Gwen dried off her face and placed her glasses on. "I'm sorry again for getting all emotional on you before. What I read..."

"Don't worry 'bout it." Kevin waved it off. "You're the most well-adjusted person on our team, so you were probably due for a breakdown."

"I don't think that's how that works," she said dryly. Her brow furrowed and she crossed her arms. "There's one thing I don't get though."

"What's that?"

"If you were really "fine" with what happened this whole time," she said, making air quotes. "Why didn't you want to talk about it sooner? I mean, I was trying to give you space, but you usually seek me out after the first few days to have one of our private heart-to-hearts."

"I've been busy!" Kevin replied. "Between all the debriefing with the Plumbers and convincin' my ex-boss not to call the cops on me, my schedule's been booked. I was gonna call you but Blukic and Driba dropped off the files and then I got caught up in _that_ mess. Not to mention I had that talk with Ben and it took forever-"

"Talk with Ben?" Gwen interrupted.

Kevin's eyes widened as his words caught up with him. "Oops."

"You _talk_ with Ben?" the redhead asked in a sly tone.

"... Sometimes."

"Talk about what?"

"... Stuff."

"What kind of stuff? Cars, girls..." Gwen smirked. " _Feelings_ , perhaps?"

"Guys don't talk about their feelings with other guys. That's for wusses," Kevin argued. He glanced away. "But..."

" _But_...?" Gwen prompted.

"But _theoretically,_ they could talk about... _misgivings_ they had when one guy went off the deep end. They also may theoretically do this _every_ time one guy goes off the deep end or discovers a life-changing secret, except for the time the one guy went after his dad's murderer, cuz that's not up for discussion. At least not yet, given recent developments."

"Theoretically?"

"Theoretically."

Gwen had _thought_ Kevin had been suspiciously eloquent through their conversation- he'd already had it with _Ben_ , and apparently this was a semi-regular occurrence! (Though she doubted it was _nearly_ as emotional as the one she just had.) She wasn't sure whether to be ecstatic that Ben had been listening to her advice about clearing the air with Kevin- advice she'd been giving him since _before_ the Ultimate Kevin incident- or peeved that Ben had acted so reassured at the Burger Shack when he actually wasn't.

Meh, she would let it go this time. She was in too great a mood to stay annoyed.

"Theoretically," she repeated one last time. "I glad to see you guys are still closer than ever."

"Uh, _yeah_ ," Kevin said without hesitation. He leaned against the garage wall. "You were right- I meant what I said. Ben's like a brother to me."

Gwen smiled and moved to head back inside, only to stop when Kevin grabbed her hand. She turned to see he had moved so close to her their noses almost touched.

"Ben's my brother, and _you're_ my girl," he finished saying. "Even when I don't deserve either of you."

Gwen grinned. "You better believe it, babe."

Without further adieu, Gwen gripped him by the necklace and pulled him in for a kiss. Kevin complied with fervor.

As her boyfriend's lips caressed her own, Gwen couldn't help but think that, in some ways, she was almost grateful to Servantis. Sure, Kevin might have never changed if he hadn't mind-zapped him, but had Kevin never changed, she might have never had this with him. She would never have had her hulky, caring boyfriend whom she adored with all her being.

One might say that by giving his agent the push towards the side of light, Servantis inadvertently assured Kevin and Gwen would be together, here and now.

_Huh..._

Well, it was just a thought.

 

* * *

 

_And it was just a thought, just a thought,_

_just a thought, just a thought, just a thought._

_It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay._

_We can watch, we can watch, we can watch,_

_We can watch them go by._

_From here, from here, from here._

_Take a moment to think of just,_

_Flexibility, love, and trust._

_Take a moment to think of just,_

_Flexibility, love, and trust...  
_

 

**_-"Here Comes a Thought" by Rebecca Sugar._ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> 1.) Ugh, it took me forever to figure out where Kevin's new garage at the beginning of "Charm School" was. I had to look at "Third Time's a Charm," and it's apparently a secret chamber within the college's library basement. Then I realized it was Darkstar's lair from "Mystery Incorporeal." Still, I figured it would take a while to finalize something like that, so for the time being Kevin's renting a smaller garage unit.
> 
> 2.) Ben was also the rational one where Lucy Mann was concerned.
> 
> 3.) The bit about Aggregor being an experiment was confirmed by Derrick J. Wyatt, a writer for the series. In fact, he originally planned for Aggregor to be the one to warn Kevin about the Rooters, but went the route of "Rooters of All Evil" instead.
> 
> 4.) Though Ragnarok was confirmed to have been a Rooter, the test bit is a personal headcanon. Seems like something Servantis would do.
> 
> 5.) I thought about delving a little more into Devin's story, but decided against it. It would digress from the main focus of the story too much. What I didn't say here was that Servantis had no idea who Kevin's real father was- he just knew the slot was open and filled it with a Plumber hero to be Kevin's role model. The photo in his house is doctored, and any other photos were supposedly destroyed when he destroyed his home when he was eleven. Kevin has read the file Servantis had about Devin- he's still not happy about it, but still sees Devin as an ideal to follow. That "whole other conversation" will happen privately with Kevin and his mom at a later date, and rest assured he is most definitely not looking forward to it.
> 
> 6.) It's my headcanon that Kevin and Ben actually do talk when stuff like Ultimate Kevin and the Rooters happen. They just prefer to do it alone and when Gwen's not around in order to preserve their sense of masculinity- kind of like when they talked briefly in the Perplexahadron. They talk and then agree it never happened.


End file.
